On breastfeeding.....

Well.... I know I promised pictures, and I promise I'll get to posting some.... but I feel like today is the day to talk about breastfeeding.  So here goes.... the truth about my experience thus far.

I believe breastfeeding is a very natural thing.  I know some don't agree - but I can't feel any other way.  Why?  Because at less than 5 minutes old, Colby latched on and started sucking away.  That is not something he was taught, not something I was taught, just something that happened.  (With a little help from the nurse, but not much). 

But just because I believe it's natural, that doesn't mean that I have found it to be easy.... at all.  I am such a proponent of breastfeeding, because I know it's great for the baby, it's awesome bonding time, it's WAY more economical than formula, and (totally selfish) it will help me towards my weight loss goals.  With this in mind, I have been very committed to sticking with it, and hope to breastfeed until around 12 months when Colby can start drinking regular milk (and will be eating food). 

The challenges I have found with breastfeeding are:
a) while a lactation consultant came to meet me before I was released from the hospital, I had NO clue how long I should expect / want Colby to feed at any given feeding.  He was averaging 15-20 minutes max before my milk came in, and got down to 10-15 minutes each feeding when my milk came in (the night of his 3rd day of life / morning of his 4th).  Was this enough? 
b) knowing what a "good" latch looks like / feels like
c) knowing how to feed him - do you keep going on one side, or switch halfway through?
d) SUPER sore nipples
e) the fact I am the only one who can feed him (this one hasn't been much of a challenge.... but every once in a while it has kinda hit me)

When Colby was 4 days old, Jimmy and I met with a lactation consultant (LC) for a little over an hour.  This wasn't because things weren't working - it was just something that was offered and I said "why not!?" when I was still in the hospital.  The appointment was an adventure to say the least - and we learned a bunch.  We talked with the LC for a while at the beginning because Colby was contently sleeping.  She asked about the delivery, my experience, what questions we had, etc.  First off, I must say, Jimmy has been amazingly supportive and has learned right along side of me.  In the beginning, he actually apologized for often watching very intently while Colby ate - but he was just so amazed at the whole thing, and just so enthralled by it all.  VERY sweet. 

After we talked, she wanted to weigh Colby naked (to compare against birthweight.  Tuesday Sept. 7th Colby had been 6lbs, 5oz at his first pediatrician appointment.  I stripped the lil' guy (was very worried about him peeing everywhere), put him on the scale, and sure enough - he was up to 6lbs, 8oz less than 24 hours later (the LC appointment was on 9/8/10).  Wow!  We were celebrating this when suddenly he decided to start peeing.  Nice big arch to it - I think it hit a cupboard up above.  I got my hand over it pretty quick, and was pretty proud of my quick move.  Then there was a noise, and sure enough, projectile infant poo was sprayed all over the wall, the files / papers she had sitting on the counter, the floor.... everywhere.  I was pretty embarrassed, but the LC started laughing, and so did Jimmy.  Soon we were all laughing as we cleaned everything up.  The LC said she's had babies pee or poo while being weighed... but Colby was the first to do both!  She also said we really got to witness what infant poop was like - that it really does come out like it's coming out of a fire hose (totally not what I expected).  Holy moly.

I got a diaper on him, and we weighed him again (because she was going to weigh him in what I was going to nurse him in, before and after, so we could see how much he was getting with every feeding).  Kinda funny, because he actually weighed less with the diaper on than he did when he was naked - due to clearing out his system!

So I sat down and proceeded to begin feeding Colby.  The LC watched as I helped him latch on, and gave tips / pointers.  She said that breathing at the beginning through the inital latch helps your milk letdown happen quicker, so I did this.  Colby got into a good rhythm, and she showed me some tricks for helping to get him to have a bigger mouth when eating (should help with comfort / latch), etc.  I didn't know, but when you lay the baby down to start feeding, your nipple should actually be pointing at their nose, not their mouth, and their chin should hit first and then they gulp up your nipple (haha).  This is kinda counter-intuitive, 'cause you figure you want the nipple to go into their mouth in the middle.  But the right way is MUCH more comfy.

She continued to give me tips, but said that I was truly doing everything perfectly.  She kept apologizing 'cause she didn't feel like she was helping me at all since I seemed to "know how to do it all".  We asked her about how to keep him awake (in the beginning, he'd be super sleepy when eating, and it was hard to get him to feed for very long).  She didn't have much more to suggest that we weren't doing.  We were changing his diaper beforehand (to help wake him up), stripping him down (keeping him cooler so he wouldn't fall asleep as easily), etc.

Up until that point, I had been feeding him 'til he fell asleep / seeemed to be "done" on one side, then burping him, and offering him the other side, feeding him from that side if he showed he was hungry.  The LC explained that it's actually better to feed from only one side each feeding, unless he completely empties that side.  You should offer one breast until it's totally empty, and only then offer the other breast if he's still hungry.  This is because the milk at the beginning is thinner / less fatty (think skim milk), but as your breast empties, it gets to the fattier milk (think whole or half&half).  So if you feed from one side for a little while, then switch to the other side, you're just giving them "skim" milk the whole feeding.  This is fine, and the baby will be just fine, but she said we'd likely be feeding him more often because that milk really serves the purpose to quench his thirst, whereas the milk towards the end ("whole" milk) is to fill him / keep him full longer.  Good to know!!!  Since that point I have been feeding from one side each time, and haven't had any problems.

She also helped answer the question of how much is he getting / is he getting enough.  Partially through the initial weigh-in (to compare to birth weight / the weight at the pediatrician) because he obviously was growing / gaining weight.  But also with the before / after feeding weigh-ins.  Colby ate for around 10 minutes (pretty standard for him), and took in a little over an ounce of milk in that amount of time.  She did some calculations, and said that was just right - that he should be taking in around 14oz a day at that age, and since we were feeding about 11-12 times a day, that was about right.  Sometimes he eats for longer, others he eats shorter, all totally normal.

She also mentioned that many babies feed more often / feed for comfort in the evenings.  They feed for nutrition as well, but like adults, they like to comfort feed in the evenings.  We've found this to be pretty true - he sometimes eats every hour during the evenings!!! (yikes!)

I asked her about pumping.  Since I'm not planning on going back to work anytime soon, she didn't discourage me from pumping, but said it didn't seem super necessary.  Pumping basically tells your body you need to make more milk.  This is fine if you want to build up a supply, but it can also be confusing / uncomfortable if you can't keep up the pumping on a regular basis.  While I'd love for Jimmy to be able to feed Colby as well, pumps are also super expensive (the one I'd get if I got one is $279).... so for now we're going to stick to just breastfeeding.  But it's good to know that if, down the line, I decide I want to pump to store up some milk (if I go back to work, or for any other reason), I can, and that my milk supply would adjust accordingly.

So on to the pain.....  There are many things about breastfeeding that are painful.  During the first day or so (when I was still in the hospital), it caused some cramping / contractings at initial latch.  This is good, because it helps your uterus contract back to it's non-preggo size.... but it's also slightly uncomfortable.  Secondly, there's the pain of something gumming a very sensitive part of your body every 2hours or so.  When Colby was only a couple days old, this wasn't a huge issue.  But once my milk came in, he's been a much more vigrorous eater - which can lead to some pretty sore nipples.  I am convinced of my high pain tolerance at this point, and so is Jimmy, so I know he knows it's painful when I'm saying it hurts like HE!!.  At first I think it was due to engorgement (that term just exudes "discomfort", doesn't it?!).  This is what happens when you milk comes in - your body doesn't know how much to have come in, so you tend to be VERY full for a day or two, until it understands what you and baby need.  My already large ladies got HUGE, and very hard to the touch.  Youch.

Colby is now over 2 weeks old, and at times feeding him is still VERY painful.  I've done lots of online reading, and continue to read that breastfeeding should not / does not have to be painful.  If it's painful, there's something wrong.  This is hard, 'cause the LC kept saying we were doing everything right.  But I've read and read and read - and I'm trying everything.  I think our issue is that Colby was being lazy some of the time and not opening his mouth as big as he needed to.  Other times the latch just wasn't *quite* right.... and other times I think I was being lazy and not paying as much attention to his positioning, etc.  After a VERY painful feeding today, I sat back down and read some more.  Since then, I've had two very successful feedings.  The best thing I read was that, in the beginning, you have to really help them, and have to be deliberate about just about everything.  And fix it immediately if it isn't right / if it hurts.  So making sure you're really sitting in the best position, that baby is at the right height, etc.  I think I had just gotten to a point where I was just kinda throwing him on the boob.... and I was paying for it!  Hopefully this is a turning point, because today I broke down to Jimmy (after the super painful feeding) and told him I knew I really wanted to keep it up, but that I was getting weak because of how painful it was.

I have tried lanolin (you rub it on after each feeding - has kept me from having any cracking, etc., but lately I'm not sure if it's helping more than it's hurting 'cause I'm not convinced it's the best thing for my nipples to be constantly moist / lubricated), the gel pads you can buy in the store (supposed to be cooling / soothing - didn't really help me), taking warm showers (this helps a bunch, but I leak like crazy coming out of the shower, so I try to time it so I can at least feed him right after), warm towels.  Like I said, hopefully we're turning a corner now.... but I COMPLETELY understand why many women give up. It isn't easy.

Feeding in public is also an adventure.  I fed Colby in public for the first time on Monday 9/13.  It was just after his pediatrician appointment.  It went well, I stayed covered, and he did great.  I guess I had fed him in front of others before that (I fed him while our friends were over one night for dinner using my cover), but this was the first time out in public.  Since then I have fed him in public a good amount.  This past weekend we visited family and friends.  I fed him twice at a football game (yes, in the pouring rain on bleachers), at multiple restaurants, at both my Grandma's houses, in the car (not while moving), while eating lunch at Burgerville (very proud of that one - one handed while eating my burger and fries), and at my parents' house with a bunch of people over for a BBQ.  I think I've only had one instance of my cover coming up a little too high.... I figure not bad for the first week of public feeding! :-)

Finally there's the fact I'm the only one who can feed him (since I'm not pumping).  This is not usually an issue.  I'd love for Jimmy to get to have that bonding time, but he's patient and willing to wait 'til Colby's eating real food.  There are times, however, when I wish that I could just sleep through a nighttime feeding.  Or the nights when he feeds every hour - I just feel like a cow who is just there to provide milk, milk, and more milk.  But most of the time I love it.  When he keeps his eyes open and looks up at me.... this is a bond and some great time that no one else will have with him.  The little smirks that he gives me (totally unintentional) are heartwarming.

All in all, I'm very happy that breastfeeding has worked for us so far.  It hasn't been without its challenges.... and I'm sure we'll encounter more along the way... but one of my big fears was that for some reason I'd have major issues breastfeeding - either my milk wouldn't come in, or not enough, or.....  I am so happy that I have enough food for my baby boy.  I know it won't be painful forever.  And even when it is - even when there are tears in my eyes for those first 10 seconds - it's all worth it.

So if you plan on breastfeeding, or are breastfeeding - bravo.  It's not easy, but I'd have to say after just over 2 weeks, I KNOW it's very rewarding.

Oh... and if you do or are - get a nursing tank!!!  I LOVE the tank I got from Motherhood Maternity.  I have found I love the nursing tank more than nursing bras because when you go to nurse with most shirts you have to pull the shirt up over your boob.  With the tank under your shirt, you unclip and expose the booby, but the tank is still covering your belly, etc.  With a bra, your belly is now exposed from pulling your shirt up.  Plus, the snaps on my tanks are super easy, and I like the style of the tank.  Can't say enough good things about it!!!!

Here's a link to the nursing top.  Seriously worth the money.  I had one when Colby was born, and a nursing sports bra, and I went and bought a second tank (same one) the first week.  I want one more.... but I may resist!!!
Awesome Nursing Tank!